MEN, GUARD YOUR NIPPLES.

* written for the FAB blog: fathom.com*

Tales from a Camp Wandawega. 

INNKEEPERS TALE no.1:

let me explain.

the DNR (department of natural resources)

has deemed the lake that our summer camp sits on one of the healthiest in the state.

Its chock-full of bluegill.

(the teensy little shiny cute, harmless fish, barely larger than your hand)

one sunny afternoon, one of our cabin guests came striding up from the lake donning

band aids on his nipples.

we’ve seen stranger things, i guess, so i tried not to stare.

‘i know’ he said ‘the bluegills are trying to milk me’.

(ok, so i was staring right at the big pink bulls eye stickers criss-crossing his nips)

(i seriously thought i would spit my lager out my nose, as i forgot to mention that the bluegill

are farsighted and often mistake the errant nipple for a worm).

and to make it worse, he explained that his wife had a mosquito bite on her back large enough to have its own zip code... apparently, they also enjoy partaking in all manner of bumps and lumps.

his solution was ingenious.

so much that i now keep and extra stock of ‘bluegill guards’ on hand.

just one of many lessons learned from our guests.

two things you need when you visit us:

extra band aids.

and
a sense of humor (especially when having to explain your  X-rated tan lines)

nothing about our accommodations are ordinary, 

so we are never surprised by the bizarre happenings that occur here.